A Heyes Post-amnesty Christmas To Do list

1. Find the perfect tree by dragging Kid out at dawn as soon as I can persuade him it's nearly Christmas. (I think two days after Thanksgiving will work.)

2. Get that mulled wine recipe off Dorothy in time to practice making it so Kid won't complain it tastes like a horse's ass. (I keep meaning to ask him how he knows what a horse's ass tastes like.)

3. Pre-string popcorn for tree decorating when Kid is out. (Otherwise, he just eats it all, and we have to buy more.)

4. Hide popcorn from Kid before stringing it. (Oops, this should have been rule three, but I'm trying a more random method to my list making this time around)

5. Pay Mrs Hardacre to cook again, as we want to survive Christmas without food poisoning this year too.

6. Hide presents from Kid (but don't forget where I've hidden them, like I did with one of them last year.)

7. Have enough firewood on Christmas Eve to last three days. (or Kid will just pretend he's asleep again, and I'll have to do it by myself. Well I think he was pretending. Is there such a thing as a food induced stupor? )

8. Check with the Doc to see if food induced stupors are real.

9. Decorate tree together.

10. Poke presents, and guess what they are, just to be irritating. Maybe it'll even convince Kid to buy me one or two more as surprises. (Hey, a man can dream right?)